i watched your eyes at the end
blue circles gone navy with loss
everything is muted in here
waiting

one more breath
one more beat
one more count
down

three
two
one
lights off

at least the nurse stopped the noises and flashing
before you hit zero
no single note long line final beep just a blank burning screen
reminding me

reality: humans are one-hundred-percent mortal

maybe you'll never reach zero and always stay with your eyes slightly open
waiting somehow for something that someone will know about someday

maybe what ate you from the inside will spit you out
the same way you spat up all that blood
ruining your favorite trousers

maybe you'll finally be clean like your eyes
clear of what grew in you

all i know is you better give them hell up there

but for now i'll just stand looking at you
while these prayers fall around me like the butterflies
flapping around the windows on the sixth floor where I sat waiting for this

flung toward heaven but crashing into the ceiling
cracking their wings against the cold angry metal

funny how it sounds just like my nervous knuckles
before i dig them into my eyes to stop this damn overflow

and i'm okay with that as long as every once in a while i get a hug or two
from you
just like before

About the Poet

Kathryn Morrell is a freelance editor and writes as much as she can in her free time. She graduated from The University of Georgia in 2010 with a Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and an area of emphasis in Creative Writing. She loves animals—especially dogs—rock climbing, and has been recently learning Argentine Tango, which provides a great way to relax after a long day at her nine-to-five as a Marketing Assistant.